experiment with ASMR

I encourage experimentation with ASMR

i'll embarrass myself first:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B7Fma5QknKhtZURRaks5Rlp6ZFk/view?usp=drivesdk

Dear Wombman - re-wilding into simplicity

My dear womb,
I rocked on my hammock this morning soothed by ocean sounds. My dear newly adopted chihuahua Rico Yogi was resting on my belly, just bout where my womb lies deep beneath. What did I feel? A strong desire to be a safe mother to him. I realized I felt bereft in the lacks I have of nurturing the ones who need it.


I'm reminded of the native american story:
We have two wolves inside of us. One who is selfish and angry
another who is compassionate LOVING.
They are at war.
Who wins?
the one we feed the most.

I wish I was at the level of the high givers, but wolves are interesting creatures - sometimes  wolf can run from one needing being leaving them bereft in order to care for another one that might have some secret benefit for them.
In this way, today again I choose to start small. I choose to start with Rico in every moment, caring for his needs.

In this complex symbiotic society what else can I do?
I value wise thoughts.

In the comments below, I'd love for you to share: what gives you pleasure as a woman?
in love,
Asya

O Greatness Goodness love!

I am a fan of ASMR
I didn't realize  until not that the triggers are actually good.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JeuriGzAnSI

xoxoxo

please comment below. I promise I will write back honestly.

bio i'd put on facebook and linked in

I posted this on my facebook status update but this is a different medium where alternative interactions can be had.
my bio in progress: (if facebook had space for this in the bio section i'd post it there):

<3 yoga teacher, reiki practitioner, intern at ayurvedic college for wellbeing, health coach,  emotional clearing buddy, reflective.listener, autism play therapist, holistic healer, sexual🍉🍌rights advocate, realist, poet, dancer, massage therapist, craniosacral therapist, trigger point therapist, meditator, Continuum movement student, practitioner of the good from all religions, survivor of many abuses, spoken word artist, nanny, pet mommy, traveler, photographer, holistic health cook, advocate for the mentally misunderstood, autism play therapist, decultifier, photographer, linguist, vibrational healer, intuitive, vacation coach and host, nun and goddess and sexual being, drummer, ocean lover, survivor and freedom fighter, try-sexual, try-gender, educational consultant, lover and friend. A child full of wonder. An adult student of life.

I'd really love to read your thoughts in the comments section, I will write back honestly I promise.  <3

I shared my practice of yoga with leaders of an Ayurvedic Cooking retreat and i'm so grateful!!! : )

https://youtu.be/zRSnSjFEYyA

So Grateful!

I found a true buddy! or two, or three.

For Ayurveda! Which is synonymous to health for me. Through lots of winding roads in my life searching for what health is including being too close to cultish thing - I'm finding a sense of kindness and community  when community is farm based on hard won lessons.

Jennifer (Jey Ma Tulasi) embraced my new doggy with so much care and wisdom.  She and Mel are kindly grounding me into Puerto Rican life. Gracias!




Group stick talking circle stating in spanish. It was a relief for me actually to not fully understand the language - to feel the space of language and vibration which is an origin of word. Jennifer and others kindly translated what was essential about my words. (having spent sic of months of my life at nineteen years old in a yoga retreat center where the inspiration there was a silent monk - I re-appreciated the sense of tuning to the larger world - this time with more wisdom. We human are but a small part of the cosmos and I felt a 360 degree balance.



my attempt at a 360 photo with this camera I'm borrowing



Support for sharing innocent vulnerability and intentions for this ayurvedic cooking class hosted by Julie at The farm



Interspecies inclusivity <3


Life essentials like sleep


More life essentials like balanced eating



All in all - "Health is wealth"

What is the true love I found?
1. Basic survival
2. human friendship is happiness

now I am home integrating what I learned.

It takes community for everything so to keep this farm going (that offers a gentle platofrm for workshops) please donate to:
https://www.facebook.com/FincaPajuil/

Gracias.
Namaste.

In the comments below i'd love for yu to share: what gives you pleasure as a woman?

A thing I like about where I live

One thing I really like about living near Rincon is that there is a lot of immunity to cultishness.
If anything it would be cult of surfing.
Except the ocean is very worth of respect and can crush you.
I feel much better loving, respecting, being in awe of, and being in fear of the ocean MUCH more than any human being cult leader - i'm sick of those.
https://goo.gl/images/Z5nvqR

"Being Real"

Why when I listen to people talk about how "real they are together" I get so lonely.

http://i.onionstatic.com/avclub/6246/43/16x9/1200.jpg

in other news:

this is what I for about what my dark "one liner" is on those silly facebook quizzes:

But first the joke I wrote about it:


Joke: First there as just GOD
only Light
and then there was the word.
and the word was peace
but who's telling the joke?
OMMMMM. UMMMM

ok now the one-liner:

"I can't go to hell, Satan still has a restraining order against me"

ok now my brilliant joke again:

Joke: First there as just GOD
only Light
and then there was the word.
and the word was peace
but who's telling the joke?
OMMMMM. UMMMM




Have a ggreat day!

Revealing

Seeds if my seeds are we b

The beginnings of a coconut tree

sensitive

I really need my cousins and Russian peeps to help me on this.

lol, most of the items in the following, but not all are true for me. But here are two links because growing up with Russian parents and an identical twin is like turning every little nuance of this unique upbringing into the most sensitive, often nerve frying, experience and what is a gift about having a twin can also turn into a source of isolation. (so the comedy of it hurts... but i need the comedy of it because then I find myself to be wholly unrelatable)

https://www.buzzfeed.com/annaf23/signs-you-were-raised-by-russian-parents-crmp

https://www.buzzfeed.com/dianabruk/23-truths-about-growing-up-russian-american?utm_term=.tsQEymXqo#.iv1dVRjMa

But I've actually found what might be a gift from this. I'd rather do these sensitive subtle things an listen to this than just about anything.

https://youtu.be/Kb27NHO_ubg
ASMR

Living in real time

A coconut yogurt morning on the farm the ingredients came from. Overlooking the ocean. Pre-snorkeling. The guy next to me is texting on his iPhone working. I'm not and I love that - working on listening to the trees listen to my energy... is a good career for me... I'm excited to share moments like these with friends and family coming to visit me soon. YAY . Moments like these are to be shared and that's a reason phones and computers were invented.

The power of visualisations

About a year ago my boyfriend at the time superimposed my parents' front yard onto a part of my profile. Now I live in paradise.
I am a powerful creator


plus:
Ayurvedic tip of the day:
Yoga is a practice, not a religion


blessings,
Asya

My experience in polyamory

What happens when you meet a polyamorous guy who is charming and communicative - then invites you to a gathering called "Infinite Love Gathering" near your house in LA?
Well this is some of my story:
He wanted me there because his date for the night had a six month relationship with the person running the gathering.
The person running the gathering is over 50 years old.
His wife is 40 years old.
They  married when she was 17.
They have four children.
They used to be orthodox jews in florida for fifteen years before moving to Seattle under what I assume is the guy's midlife crisis.
In Seattle the husband convinces his wife to let him date other women.
They are now "polyamorous"
This is what continues to follow:
The husband weens off his job as a chiropractor while the wife goes to a three year university as a sex coach.

They move to Los Angeles.
The wife dates a wounded man who is also her client. He pays her but she calls him "Boyfriend"
This is how the family now makes their money.

This is the man I dated before coming to puerto rico.

I was at some of his gatherings and I met with a guy in san francisco who was at the gather. I was sitting right behind the husband introduced as his girlfriend but this new guy didn't even see I was there.

I didn't realize I was being controlled.

I don't know much about the husband,
He keeps a lot secret.
Now her runs this gathering with lots of participants.

I let him into my body day after day.
I saw his kids suffering.
I saw his wife who didn't know english before she met him.
It's like he's re-training horses.

This is part of my experience in polyamory.

The thing is I had no idea how I was being controlled.

It frightened me.

It frightens me now.

Charm and the magical mystery ride

So I guess I'm a good enough, loving person for someone to take me on a charter sunset cruise. I just met the guy a few nights before.
After the charter I came home, and met a wonderful community playing music around a bonfire. I drummed, played guitar, and sang! Facing my fears is being unlocked by the spirit of community embrace, especially mirrored by this new fiend I am making Colleen who is inspired by my self care.
Tomorrow we journey to the first chakra of the Earth.

Super important

Super important rule I learned while living with my ayurveda teacher:
When eating veggie chips (like the organic good health brand) organic blue corn tortilla chips - ALWAYS dip into hummus or babaghanoush (preferably these dips are made with a form of seaweed called kombu to relieve gas, and soak overnight).
I'm tired of making the mistake of eating them dry. It really hurts my esophagus.

Puerto Rican Bomba drumming class two houses away

Two houses away along the ocean there is an authentic Bomba Drumming class.
I'm sitting in front of the teacher's drum.
I try to the rhythm of what I'm being taught.
I try to keep to this rhythm with my "writing with a pen" hands, and my "video game" hands, and my "girls aren't supposed to be like boys" hands.
I play a reverberating sound.
I realize that all the silent thoughts inside of me that feel like the world and in reality total and complete bullshit.
This realization helps to un-paralyze my hands and at least attempt to take this class I paid for.

-girl.

Twins

It's a feral moment with my alter-ego.





Using photos and text as a curative

emotional bonding for Gen X