Revealing

Seeds if my seeds are we b

The beginnings of a coconut tree

sensitive

I really need my cousins and Russian peeps to help me on this.

lol, most of the items in the following, but not all are true for me. But here are two links because growing up with Russian parents and an identical twin is like turning every little nuance of this unique upbringing into the most sensitive, often nerve frying, experience and what is a gift about having a twin can also turn into a source of isolation. (so the comedy of it hurts... but i need the comedy of it because then I find myself to be wholly unrelatable)

https://www.buzzfeed.com/annaf23/signs-you-were-raised-by-russian-parents-crmp

https://www.buzzfeed.com/dianabruk/23-truths-about-growing-up-russian-american?utm_term=.tsQEymXqo#.iv1dVRjMa

But I've actually found what might be a gift from this. I'd rather do these sensitive subtle things an listen to this than just about anything.

https://youtu.be/Kb27NHO_ubg
ASMR

Living in real time

A coconut yogurt morning on the farm the ingredients came from. Overlooking the ocean. Pre-snorkeling. The guy next to me is texting on his iPhone working. I'm not and I love that - working on listening to the trees listen to my energy... is a good career for me... I'm excited to share moments like these with friends and family coming to visit me soon. YAY . Moments like these are to be shared and that's a reason phones and computers were invented.

The power of visualisations

About a year ago my boyfriend at the time superimposed my parents' front yard onto a part of my profile. Now I live in paradise.
I am a powerful creator


plus:
Ayurvedic tip of the day:
Yoga is a practice, not a religion


blessings,
Asya

My experience in polyamory

What happens when you meet a polyamorous guy who is charming and communicative - then invites you to a gathering called "Infinite Love Gathering" near your house in LA?
Well this is some of my story:
He wanted me there because his date for the night had a six month relationship with the person running the gathering.
The person running the gathering is over 50 years old.
His wife is 40 years old.
They  married when she was 17.
They have four children.
They used to be orthodox jews in florida for fifteen years before moving to Seattle under what I assume is the guy's midlife crisis.
In Seattle the husband convinces his wife to let him date other women.
They are now "polyamorous"
This is what continues to follow:
The husband weens off his job as a chiropractor while the wife goes to a three year university as a sex coach.

They move to Los Angeles.
The wife dates a wounded man who is also her client. He pays her but she calls him "Boyfriend"
This is how the family now makes their money.

This is the man I dated before coming to puerto rico.

I was at some of his gatherings and I met with a guy in san francisco who was at the gather. I was sitting right behind the husband introduced as his girlfriend but this new guy didn't even see I was there.

I didn't realize I was being controlled.

I don't know much about the husband,
He keeps a lot secret.
Now her runs this gathering with lots of participants.

I let him into my body day after day.
I saw his kids suffering.
I saw his wife who didn't know english before she met him.
It's like he's re-training horses.

This is part of my experience in polyamory.

The thing is I had no idea how I was being controlled.

It frightened me.

It frightens me now.

Charm and the magical mystery ride

So I guess I'm a good enough, loving person for someone to take me on a charter sunset cruise. I just met the guy a few nights before.
After the charter I came home, and met a wonderful community playing music around a bonfire. I drummed, played guitar, and sang! Facing my fears is being unlocked by the spirit of community embrace, especially mirrored by this new fiend I am making Colleen who is inspired by my self care.
Tomorrow we journey to the first chakra of the Earth.